For many of us, the thought of Black men crying or showing emotions is a BIG no. Yet these same men are criticized for NOT expressing emotions in relationships!
But there’s actually a painful, nuanced history behind Black men and emotions that not enough of us bring into this conversation.
Before colonialism and enslavement, African gender roles took many forms. There were many powerful women, LGBTQ+ relationships were common, and masculinity was defined in various ways.
When Europeans came, they violently imposed their own ideas of gender on Black people. This continued during enslavement.
During enslavement, whites would force enslaved men to wear “feminine” clothes, and they would rape Black women AND men while preventing men from protecting themselves or their loved ones. The point? To “emasculate” them.
Black men’s emotions were also policed by whites, who used “compliance” to decide punishments or set working conditions. Being “tough” was one of the only ways to survive Jim Crow and modern-day racism. Hiding one’s emotions is a survival mechanism.
The effects of this abuse have been passed down for generations. Today, many of us police our own without realizing we’re upholding white supremacy!
The emotional tolls of colonialism and enslavement have yet to be fully addressed. Black men need support from our community so they can freely express the FULL range of human emotions they’re entitled to experience!