Black people start hearing racist messages from a young age. We can sometimes even accidentally teach Black children self-hatred without realizing it – by saying phrases like these.
#1: “Don’t get too dark.”
Too many of us were told to cover up and avoid getting “too dark” in the summer. The message this sends? Dark skin is undesirable and is something to avoid! Black skin of all shades is beautiful, and instead we should CELEBRATE darkening skin!
#2: “You look great, have you lost weight?”
Too many of us equate “health” and “beauty” with “weight loss!” But we know that’s just NOT true, has a racist history, and can even lead to eating disorders – which is MUCH more dangerous, especially to young people, than being “overweight.”
#3: “Be quiet – that’s not ladylike.”
The world loves to tell Black girls to be quieter, smaller, take up less space – to be more “ladylike.” But what’s defined as “ladylike” has always uplifted white women. We should encourage women and girls in our lives to be their fullest, loudest selves, no matter WHAT white society thinks!
Anti-Blackness is everywhere – sometimes in the things we say without realizing it. If we want to promote Black self-love, we have to be on top of the things we say – especially around Black children!